The last couple of days have been a bit of a downer. I missed out on a job I went for and then had a visit to the dentist who did not have good news for me- a cracked tooth. Root canal anyone?
When I told my husband I had missed out on the job he said “That sucks honey” and gave me a hug. When I told my Mum she said “That sucks honey, I’m sure it is no fault of your own and maybe it will make things easier for a while since you have little kids.” My friend Natalie, said “That sucks Mo, you must be really disappointed, sorry about that honey”. And I thought, huh…this is exactly what I need to hear, it does suck! I AM disappointed. Poor me! The people close to me seemed to know exactly what I wanted to hear, and I felt a little better. My family and friends have learned what I need to hear. I need to wallow for a while. I am a wallower, and I’m okay with that.
When things go wrong, people really want to make things better (so lovely) and give you advice (so annoying….and yes, I do it too!) “Well maybe you should do some more job training or study, maybe you should talk to this person or that person or change your life or save some money or go for a run…” I hate it. Something bad has happened and instead of having a bit of time to process, you are supposed to start thinking about how to change your life for the better.
A couple of days later, I am feeling much more positive, starting to think about ‘what next’ work wise, and what I want to do about my tooth, thanks to a bit of support from my nearest and dearest and some serious hugs from my Husband (and some pain killers!). For me, having a couple of days to feel a bit down and process what has happened means I can start again strongly with a hiss and a bang- no lingering worries or resentment.
Next time a friend tells you their bad news, don't say "You'll be fine, it's not the end of the world", take the time to console them and say “Oh honey, that sucks!” because sometimes it is okay to take your time to work through your problems. You don't just have to ‘Get over it’.
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