James and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary this week and it got me thinking about how much our lives have changed in that time.
On our wedding day, my husband gave me the most incredible gift. He gave me encouragement to seek something I was passionate about and the freedom to change my life.
Some people would say that as a modern woman I have the power to live my life however I want to, but my story has nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with fear. When you work in a full time job that you feel confident in and the pay is pretty good, it gives your life security and it gives you purpose. Unfortunately with each passing year I felt more and more disillusioned with teaching and was finding it increasingly difficult to separate my job from the rest of my life. I worked early, I worked late. I never felt like I was on top of things and that I was doing enough for my students. I was stressed and no longer excited about my work, I wanted a change.
I was afraid to leave my job. I didn't know what else I wanted to do - which worried me just as much as being unhappy with my job. I was afraid of having no money and I was afraid I wouldn't be good at anything else.
James often worked nights and weekends, so we were planning our wedding but barely seeing each other - not how I wanted to begin our marriage! James' take on things was if I never worked again, would that really matter? ( I was pretty floored by that statement!) He said I should take the time to try new things and find out what I wanted to do. To him my happiness was paramount. So, I left my job. I did some part time work here and there leading up to our wedding - and I worried, a lot. What next?
An hour before our wedding ceremony, James delivered a gift to my room. He had bought me books. Books that represented the life we were about to build together. '4001 Baby Names', 'The Fashion Book', 'Job Hunting Online' and 'The Politically Incorrect Guide to Parenting'. You can see the tears in my eyes as I opened this gift because I knew exactly what he was trying to say. He wanted me to know that 'not knowing' was okay, because we would find out together. He knew I wanted to be a mother, that I have always loved fashion (but never thought I could do anything with it) and that I would find the job of my dreams. Oh yes, and that we would be politically incorrect parents!
Little did I know that 4 short years later I would be sitting at my computer, typing a blog post for my fashion site (which I just love working on!) while my beautiful babies sleep. James is doing such an amazing job supporting me (financially, emotionally and technically!) while I am madly blogging away - just like he said he would.
Some people know from the get go what they want to do with their lives, but for those of us who don't immediately recognise our 'calling', it is okay to stop and take the time to find out. James gave me that reassurance and I am giving it to you, just stop doing for awhile, and take the time to think about how you want to spend the majority of your days. I am not suggesting you throw away your job and stay at home on a spiritual sabbatical, but perhaps spending some of your down time making decisions about your future instead of just existing through it.
"Allow your passion to become your purpose and it will one day become your profession" - Gabrielle Bernstein
Things are unfolding beautifully, I have no idea where 'Dressing Up' will take me, but I am realising how much fun the 'finding out' can be.
Thank you James, happy anniversary darling xxx
Be you - wear the jewels!
Photos by Emily Raftery Photography.