Stop Saying Sorry
Saying sorry can become a verbal tic. We say sorry when we want to ask a question, in awkward social situations, and often when we haven’t done anything wrong at all. Constantly apologising diminishes you and tells other people you think you are responsible for the current situation, or that what you have to say isn’t important. It also means when you really do need to apologise, your apology may not seem as meaningful.
Next time you are tempted to say sorry, try one of these instead:
Change “Sorry, can I just ask...” to “Can you please explain…” In this way you are asking for the information you want without apologising for wanting it.
“Sorry I’m late” to “Thank you for waiting for me” Often we apologise to someone because they have done something nice for us. It is much more powerful to show them your gratitude and thank them for waiting for you, or doing the dishes, or reminding you of something you need to get done. And it will make THEM feel happy!
Reframe your Negative Thoughts
In this world of social media, we are absorbing thousands of images a day, and it is easy to start comparing yourself to what you see. These thoughts may be initially sub conscious, but they can fuel the critical voice in our head. For me, they tend to manifest with the word ‘should’. I should be exercising more, I should be eating better, I should get more work done, I should be more organised. These thoughts can become a pattern and start to affect your self-esteem. It’s really important to monitor that inner voice and tell yourself the things you’re doing well and that you’re grateful for. This morning it was, “Woohoo I’ve made it to midday without a coffee!” It’s the little things!
My little Willow (4) and I like to write in her gratitude journal at the end of the day. Verbalising and recording what we are grateful for really does put things into perspective! You can read more about how I use mine, and the cool ones you can buy from AwesoME Inc here.
Remember that the words you use have power, when you say something negative about yourself, it makes it easier to believe. Change “I can’t” to “I’m getting there, I can get this done!” Speak kindly to yourself, as you would to your best friend.
Do either of these habits resonate with you?