Feeling Flabby and Finding a Balance
So I’m not feeling great at the moment, my body is telling me I have gotten a bit heavy. I kind of have that ‘week after Christmas’ feeling, like someone ate all the pies…oh wait, that was me.
Generally I don't talk about my weight anymore. I’m over it. I am sick of thinking about it, worrying about it and especially talking about it. It actually bores me. With all the wonderful topics we could be talking about, my weight is the least interesting. Just give me this one post, okay? When I tell someone I am trying to lose a bit of weight I instantly regret it because I realise I don't actually want to hear advice on how can I lose it and not to worry because I look fine (I know I look fine, this is not a self esteem issue…) That’s what comes from being someone who has worried about food and weight for their whole life. I just want to be commiserated with! Whenever anyone tells me they are trying to lose weight my response now is, “Yeah, I hear ya!”
But here’s the thing, with my PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) when I gain weight, I feel terrible. I bloat, I get loads of pimples, I’m tired and my period is irregular. Also my chance of getting diabetes is significantly higher than someone without PCOS. By the way, why do I still have to have periods when I have finished having babies? Design flaw! Without core strength I get sore hips and a sore back (two c-sections has not helped with that!) and I don’t sleep as well. When I was trying to get pregnant, I had to learn that my body worked really well within a 4kg window (you can read more about this in my first ever blog post here). And I exited that window a few kilos ago – the window is now at the top of a skyscraper in another city. Thanks Tim Tams.
At 33, I have yet to find the perfect exercise/eating balance. I still seem to have months where I exercise like a maniac, and eat lots of salad, and then months of no exercise and forgetting about what I eat entirely (while throwing around cake like confetti…)
So, I need to start exercising again. The thing that works for me hands down is circuit training. I like to do Jillian Michael’s ’30 Day Shred, Level 1’. It’s pretty hard for me but the exercises change every 2 minutes. So just as it’s getting too hard you move on. Anything that’s too much I do half speed – and I don't feel bad about it, I am exercising and it feels good! Also it's 27 minutes long, I can get it over and done with for the day and not have to think about it anymore, bonus! Although I challenge you not to want to punch her when she says "I have 400 pound people that can do jumping jacks!" Whatever Jillian, MUTE.
The other thing I love to do is yoga. Again I do Jillian Michael’s ‘Yoga Meltdown’ and last weekend I started a new yoga class locally which not only gives me the chance to meet up with friends, but to turn off my brain and have some child free time. Hooray!
So, here I go again, back to eating well and moving my body because it feels good and hopefully the by-product will be a healthier feeling me. I am planning to do a little something good every day instead of hours of exercise because I need to be able to maintain it.
I have come such a long way. I genuinely think positively about my body and all it can do and I don’t care what size clothing I fit or buy, as long as my body FEELS good. My self worth is not wrapped up in my jeans size. I am not someone who is trying to reach my ‘pre pregnancy weight’ (Why?!! Who cares except you?) or to fit my wedding dress again (AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH…not likely).
I know how lucky I am to have such a capable body and I want it to feel good and function well so I can focus on the things that are important to me. My husband, my babies and my blog.